Cheesed Off
by Ohfortheloveofpete
Summary: Lumpy becomes a pizza delivery guy...also, Flippy snaps...again.


_Following my first Happy Tree Friends fanfic I decided to make another one. This time Lumpy is going to be a pizza delivery guy._

 _As usual, he's going to unintentionally kill Happy Tree Friends._

 _I'm also going to be featuring Flippy. Of course, Lumpy is probably the only Happy Tree Friend character that has killed more Happy Tree Friends than him._

 **Lumpy: On his 100th occupation!**

 **Mime: It feels odd talking about someone who doesn't talk at all.**

 **Flippy: Doing the devil's work!**

 **Cuddles: Pulled his head out of a hat once. Whoops.**

 **Mole: Blind as a bat.**

 **Handy: A bear is a predator of a beaver...I think you probably know where this is going.**

 **Disco Bear: The biggest playboy ever.**

 **Giggles: Why is she giggling? She's in a world of death here!**

 **Petunia: Despite being a skunk, she doesn't stink...when she's not a corpse.**

 **Flaky: She's always scared...and considering what this show is like I don't blame her.**

 **Toothy: How many times does he visit the dentist?**

 **Nutty: It doesn't take a genius to find out why Mondo Media decided to name him "Nutty".**

 **Cro-Marmot: He can do anything...as long as he's offscreen.**

Once again Lumpy had been employed for another business. He had many jobs over the years...including a police officer, a doctor, and a mailman.

In fact, he had lost count on how many jobs he had.

Why did he keep switching jobs, anyway?

He wasn't sure. Although, considering his incompetence, perhaps he had been fired from some of them.

Well, here he was, working as a pizza delivery guy.

His first client was Cuddles. Strangely enough, he hadn't ordered a carrot pizza. However, he did order one that involved vegetables.

In this case, it was a pepper pizza. Apparently he had a hankering for spicy food.

He was hanging out with the Mole.

However, when he tried to play racing games with him, Mole kept crashing the vehicle into him.

"Stop that!" exclaimed Cuddles. At this rate, he was going to have to go to the mechanic for repairs.

The Mole scratched his head.

Of course, Mole couldn't play video games too well without the gift of sight.

Cuddles noted that perhaps Mole didn't make for such a good video game partner. He was going to invite Giggles, but she was currently attending a party with that lecherous Disco Bear.

At that very moment, Lumpy rang the door.

As soon as the blue moose rang the doorbell, a wide smile formed on his face. Here he was, about to deliver his first pizza.

Well, hopefully his customers were satisfied.

Fortunately, it seems that they were happy with him. Cuddles gave him a generous tip.

"Thank you very much!" exclaimed Cuddles. Playing video games wasn't working out for him and Mole, so perhaps they would try something else...like sharing a pizza together.

Lumpy went to visit the next caller.

That caller happened to be Nutty.

Unsurprisingly, he had ordered a dessert pizza.

Lumpy wondered why Nutty loved sweets so much.

Personally he didn't think it was healthy to consume so much sugar.

Nutty happily accepted the dessert pizza. He devoured it...in ten seconds.

In the process, some of it got on Lumpy's face.

He wiped it off with a handkerchief.

"Are you giving me a tip?" asked Lumpy.

Nutty gave Lumpy some lollipops.

Lumpy shrugged.

Meanwhile, Cuddles and Mole opened the pizza box and began munching on the pizza. The pizza was covered with peppers.

However, it seemed that they had placed one too many pepper on the pizza that they had ordered.

Not long after he started eating it, Cuddles spewed out fire.

And unfortunately, he ended up igniting his carpet.

Cuddles gasped. He quickly realized that if he did not put out the fire, the fire could very well end up spreading to the house.

It looked like he picked a bad day to leave a bunch of newspapers around. Maybe he should have tried recycling them.

He ordered Mole to use the nearby fire extinguisher to put out the flames.

It was a good thing that they had one.

"You've got to put out the fire! I don't have insurance on my house!" exclaimed Cuddles. He was regretting it personally.

However, Mole ended up grabbing some cooking oil instead.

"What? No no no no!" screamed Cuddles, his face turning as pale as a sheet.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

As soon as Mole poured cooking oil on the flames, the flames ignited half of the kitchen.

Once again, it seemed that Mole's blindness had endangered those around him.

In this case, it was Cuddles. Now he was in serious danger of becoming rump roast.

Cuddles panicked, sweat coming down his face.

He quickly realized what he had to do.

Quickly, he dialed 911. He desperately needed the fire department's help.

He sure hoped that they would make it in time. Otherwise, he would be a goner.

Fortunately, it seemed that he could escape through the front door of his house.

However, as he raced to the door, Mole did not follow him.

Unfortunately, he didn't realize what was going on.

He tried explaining the situation, but Mole didn't understand.

Cuddles sighed. Hopefully the fire department would rescue him. It would be a shame if his friend didn't make it out alive...even if he ended up endangering them when he poured oil on the flames instead of water.

Shortly afterwards, the firemen were on their way.

In this case, the firemen were Handy, Flippy, and The Mime.

Handy attempted to reach for the fire hose, but he then remembered that he didn't have hands.

He promptly let out a glare to the camera.

So, he decided to have Mime do it instead.

He pulled out the fire hose and waited for Flippy to turn the valve.

He pointed at Flippy to get his attention.

However, seeing the flames reminded Flippy of something.

Something a long time ago.

Specifically, it reminded him of when they used napalm against guerrilla fighters in the Vietnam War. Why did he have so many memories of the Vietnam War, anyway? It was a long time ago.

Remembering the Vietnam War, caused Flippy to go...crazy.

At that very moment, Cuddles ran out of the house.

"Thank Mondo Media you're here! I need you put out the fire and FAST! Mole's still in there!" exclaimed Cuddles, pointing to his burning house.

Though the temperature around him had definitely increased, Mole was still unaware of what was going on...and that he had ended up causing the flames to spread.

It would probably best if he had a dog to help him with seeing things to keep him from being killed. However, there were dogs that became incredibly dangerous when they heard a whistle.

Of course, if Cuddles hadn't invited Mole to come over, none of this would have happened. But something bad was bound to happen to him sooner or later considering what Happy Tree City was like underneath its seemingly innocent surface.

Suddenly, he noticed Flippy.

"You feeling...OK?" asked Cuddles.

Something about the green bear seemed off.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Flippy let out an evil laugh.

Cuddles started to feel rather nervous. This somehow seemed very familiar. And it didn't give him good memories either.

Suddenly, the green bear grabbed him.

"Aah!" exclaimed the yellow bunny.

Flippy then tossed Cuddles through an open window, exposing him to the flames.

"AAH!" screamed Cuddles as the fire burned his flesh.

He was burnt to a crisp.

Flippy laughed at the result of his actions. Personally he thought his screaming had been the best part. That was something he was going to remember fondly.

Meanwhile, the Mole suddenly found himself having a hard time breathing.

Was there something wrong with his lungs? In his last doctor exam, he seemed to be rather healthy. Of course, the doctor (Sniffles) had died horribly so he couldn't say the same thing about him. He accidentally injected himself with several toxic chemicals.

Unbeknownst to him, he was breathing in smoke.

Lots and lots of smoke.

He was starting to feel rather woozy.

Eventually, he suffocated and fell to the ground.

After brutally murdering Cuddles, Flippy decided that his fellow firemen would be the next victims.

Handy and Mime's eyes opened with shock.

Handy let out a scream.

Mime did so as well...but it was completely silent.

Flippy decided that he would kill Handy first. It would most likely be more fun to kill him since his screams WEREN'T silent.

He grabbed Handy and shoved the fire hose in his mouth.

A few seconds later, he turned the valve and Handy started to inflate like a balloon.

Handy tried to scream, but he couldn't exactly do so with so much water pouring into his mouth. Instead, he let out gargling noises.

He continued to pump water into him, until eventually...Handy exploded.

Blood splattered all over the fire truck.

Realizing that he could very well be the next victim, Mime decided to run for it.

He noticed a nearby phone booth.

It looked like this was his chance.

He dialed 911 and began to call the police.

However, it then occurred to him that he never spoke...ever.

As a result, he was unable to inform the police of his desperate situation.

At that very moment, Flippy entered the phone booth.

Mime's face turned even paler than usual.

If Mime's screams were audible, they would have likely been heard throughout the city.

Flippy proceeded to strangle Mime using the phone cord.

Mime drew his last breath...until the next Happy Tree Friends story.

Laughing at his handiwork, Flippy then decided to go look for new victims.

He got the feeling that there were more Happy Tree Friends nearby. Their blood was something that he would savor.

Meanwhile, Lumpy was about to deliver his next pizza...unaware that there was a dangerous psychopath on the loose.

This time, it was Disco Bear who had ordered the pizza. He had ordered three of them, actually.

Why exactly did he order so much pizza?

Currently, Disco Bear was living at a mansion.

Personally Lumpy wished that he could live somewhere luxurious as that. Although...considering how many jobs he had, he wasn't exactly poor.

He rang the door bell.

"Yeah?" asked Disco Bear. He was hoping for a pretty lady...but he was happy that he had received his pizza regardless.

"Here's your pizza!" exclaimed Lumpy.

"Thanks!" answered the dancing bear.

Curious, Lumpy decided to peek inside the mansion. He heard loud music coming from inside and wondered what the source of the noise was.

He quickly realized what was going on.

"Oh! I love parties!" exclaimed Lumpy.

Petunia, Flaky, and Giggles had all been invited to the party.

There was a sparkling disco ball, as well as records for playing music. There was also fruit punch on a nearby table.

The more he looked at it, the more the party seemed like fun.

He wanted to join in.

"Got room for one more?" asked Lumpy.

"I don't normally invite males, but OK!" exclaimed Disco Bear. It was the best way of showing gratitude.

Lumpy happily entered the mansion and began to dance.

However, he couldn't help but shake the feeling that he was forgetting something.

Eh, it was probably nothing.

"Woo!" exclaimed Lumpy, doing several dance moves.

Unbeknownst to them, Flippy had heard the noise coming from the party.

He then realized where he could find more victims.

After the party guests had finished dancing, they were all feeling hungry.

Well, except for Flaky. She needed to use the restroom, because she had drank a lot of fruit punch.

Quickly, she went to use the toilet.

As Lumpy happily munched on the pizza along with everyone else, Lumpy then remembered something.

Wasn't he...supposed to be delivering pizza?

"Oh no!" thought Lumpy. At this point, the pizza was likely cold.

The customers probably weren't going to be happy with him.

Well, it was better late than never.

Immediately, he raced out the mansion.

"Where is he going?" asked Disco Bear. He was the life of the party...even if he technically hadn't been on the guest list.

As Lumpy ran back to the pizza truck, Flippy approached the door bell, a wide grin on his face.

It looked like he had found the perfect spot to kill more Happy Tree Friends.

He pressed it with his finger.

Disco Bear answered the door.

"Huh? I don't remember inviting YOU to this party." noted Disco Bear.

Flippy grabbed him by the neck.

"Whoa!" exclaimed the dancing bear.

Flippy then entered the mansion, looking for something to kill him with.

He noticed the disco ball underneath his head.

This gave him an AWFUL idea.

He proceeded to toss Disco Bear up in the air.

The orange bear let out a scream.

As soon as Disco Bear hit the disco ball, he splattered. His head fell to the ground.

Naturally, this made the disco ball quite bloody in the process.

Once Giggles and Petunia realized Flippy's intentions, they decided to run away. What were the chances of a deranged serial killer crashing their party?

"AAH!" screamed Giggles and Petunia. They were well aware what Flippy was like whenever he had a Vietnam War flashback.

Unfortunately, Flippy had no intention of letting them escape.

He grabbed Petunia and began to grind her head against one of the records.

This had gruesome results. Her brains were all over the record player.

After he had finished killing Petunia, Flippy then moved on to Giggles.

He grabbed her head and dunked it in the fruit punch.

Quickly, her face turned blue.

It wasn't long until Giggles drew her last breath.

Flippy laughed wickedly after finishing his gruesome work.

Well, it was time to find more victims.

Flippy left the mansion, searching for his next target.

At that very moment, Flaky returned from using the restroom.

As soon as she noticed the corpses of her friends, she fainted.

Lumpy raced to the next customer as soon as he could.

In the process, he almost hit a few pedestrians.

Fortunately, he did not. He didn't want blood on his windshield, now did he?

Eventually, he reached his next client.

That client happened to be Toothy.

"What took you so long?" asked Toothy grumpily.

"Sorry!" apologized Lumpy.

Toothy shrugged and accepted his pizza.

He was sharing it with Cro-Marmot.

However, as soon as Toothy took a bite out of the pizza, he froze up.

Lumpy gasped in alarm. It seemed the pizza was so cold that it froze anyone who bit it.

Fortunately for Cro-Marmot, he was already frozen.

Lumpy attempted to thaw out Toothy by using a hammer...

...but he ended up breaking him into pieces instead.

Lumpy sighed. Perhaps he should have gone to the lighter.

Although...something told him that this might have made him suffer the same fate as another unfortunate Happy Tree Friend.

Well, hopefully Toothy would return to life tomorrow like he always did.

According to his list, there was one more customer.

That one happened to be Flippy.

At that very moment, Flippy approached him, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Lumpy scratched his head.

He then remembered that Flippy had been one of his customers.

Could it be that he had taken so long that Flippy had gone looking for him?

Well, he better give him his pizza. Hopefully that would appease him.

Quickly, he pulled out the pizza and gave it to Flippy.

This caused him to snap out of his deranged state.

"Huh?" asked Flippy. Where was he?

He then noticed the pizza that Lumpy had given him.

"That was fast!" exclaimed Flippy.

Giving Lumpy a generous tip, Flippy then went back home.

Lumpy sighed in relief. It was a good thing Flippy was so forgiving.

Since he had delivered all the pizzas, it was time to head back.

Meanwhile, back home, Flippy took a bite out of the pizza.

His teeth began to chatter.

THE END

 _Since they don't kill Mole much (since they didn't want to offend blind people on this show, as bloody as it is), I decided to give him a less violent death than Cuddles._

 _I also didn't kill Flaky since i already killed five Happy Tree Friends already at that point. I figured I wouldn't make it a no survivor fanfic just like that episode "Home Is Where The Hurt Is". That was a total party kill basically._


End file.
